Procrastination-Words

I am ensconcing myself at a corner of the Rubenstein library, contemplating life so as to procrastinate on a paper whose deadline is right under my nose. This afternoon, just like many others, radiates a serene beauty. Life at Duke flows like a silky ribbon in the dance of my dream. Tranquility. Harmony. The afternoon has all the states that I aspire. This moment, I find myself at peace!

I always have a strangely strong feeling for words, those that encapsulate multiple meanings and nuances, those that capture a whole lot of my sophisticated strands of thought, or those that are simply unconventional. Whenever I encounter a new interesting word or expression, no matter if it is in Vietnamese of English, I always get excited about the possibility of using it. Visioning myself as an artist, I wish to embroider beautiful words into my writing, turning it into a colorful, vibrant yet subtly profound piece of art. These characteristics of words especially draw my attention since to me, words, or languages in general, should portray just as much elegance and charisma as a classy lady. I wish my words to exhibit neither flamboyancy nor superfluousness, but they should have the capacity to venture beyond monotony. The mastery of my language should be emanated naturally like the aura of the Earth after the rain or the scent of a bypassing lady; it should be gentle but powerful enough to help my message leave an imprint.

Unfortunately, I have not reached such a level of mastery. I usually find myself stuck in expressing complex thoughts, and thus failing to convince others. I despise the powerlessness that overwhelms me whenever words get stuck in my throat or disappear from my right hemisphere. There seems to be a flood of thought that crave to be liberated from the mind prison that is built by my deprivation of vocabulary. What could be worse than being trapped in your own mind?

I crave for words.

I crave for the ability to express my full and complex self.

I crave for the liberty of portraying my creativity and imagination.

I crave for the power to influence other people with precise, succinct and convincing language.

“The pen is mightier than the sword.” Hence, without words, impotent I feel.